Bar Service?

I am a fan of sitting at the bar in a restaurant. There’s usually a game on, it makes for much better people watching, and I usually get pretty attentive service. Usually. This past weekend though, not so much…

I met my sister for drinks and dinner at the new Big Papi’s Grille in Framingham. It used to be the Metro 9 Steakhouse, but the Red Sox’s David Ortiz lent his name to the restaurant, and it’s now the prime example of “build it, and he will come.” Two months ago, this place was empty. Now, it’s packed. Good for them. I wish I could say that the influx of business explains the bad bar service, but it was bad when the bar was empty, let alone full.

We were there a couple of months ago, had the bar practically to ourselves, and my sister ordered a dirty martini. Instead, she got dirty water. There’s no confusing the flavor of vodka for water, so that’s some pretty bad bartending. Anyway, I digress…

(I do feel the need to say that I did have an event at Metro 9, and I could not have asked for a better experience. Everything was perfect – absolutely FLAWLESS.)

We got there at 5:30 on Saturday evening, hoping it wouldn’t be so busy so we could get some attention from the bartenders. No luck – the bar was full, but we were able to get a seat after about 15 minutes. We each ordered a beer, and our glasses were pretty much empty for 15 minutes before we could get one of the three bartenders to give us the time of day. Now, when I say it was full, I mean the seats were all full – by no means was the bar mobbed. There was no excuse for empty glasses.

The gentleman sitting next to me ordered a Sam Adam’s Summer Ale. The bartender poured him an Octoberfest and put it in front of him without saying a word. At the very least, I would have expected her to say that they were all out of Summer Ale, and were now carrying Octoberfest as their seasonal beer. But no, the non-ordered beer was put in front of him without explanation. He took it in stride, but personally I have a problem drinking Octoberfest in August. But that’s just me.

At close to 7:30, after being there for two hours, we decided to leave to get a bite to eat. Yes, we could have eaten there, but the bartenders never once asked us if we were joining them for dinner, nor could we get their attention long enough to signal one of them for a menu. So we paid our tab and left.

On to bad bar experience number two.

We went from Big Papi’s to a small, family owned Italian restaurant in another part of town. There was a 40 minute wait for a table, so we decided to eat at the bar. Mistake.

There were three bartenders working there too, but we got stuck with the greasy sleaze-ball named Charlie. He started out fine by asking us where we got our fake ID’s (we’re both in our thirties). It wasn’t charming at all, but it was clear that he thought it was. We let it go – no big deal, just a bad joke. Then he started making jokes about having a threesome with us. From there, he started asking questions about whether our daddy spanked us hard enough (in that particular way that only a dirty old man can do). I kid you not. This is a man who works for tips. And needless to say, he didn’t get much of one…

I’m usually pretty good at letting these types of things go. Well, maybe not so much letting it go as not making a scene but talking about it for the rest of my life. I’m used to dirty old men. I’m a dirty old man magnet, for some reason. But this guy just got under my skin. He’s a bartender, in a family restaurant nonetheless. Now, granted, the families aren’t sitting at the bar, but the people at the bar tend to be indicative of a family-friendly clientele. Charlie was just so inappropriate. Never in my life have I even considered saying something to a restaurant manager, and I was pretty close to doing it that night. Bad jokes are one thing, being sexually harassed while trying to eat dinner is something entirely different.

Maybe I’ve been spoiled by my bartenders in the past. Or maybe I should just stick to my old stand-bys… not only would Patrick, Adam and Matt never ask me if I want to join them for a threesome with my sister, they never let my glass sit empty and always get me a menu when I want one. They are the reason why I think bartenders are Gods.

The Sincerest Form of Flattery

Imitation, that is. I was in New York for work recently, and had dinner at an Italian restaurant near Lincoln Center. Two of the women in my party ordered an open-faced lasagna. Lasagna always sounds good, and open-faced added a new level of interest.

When it arrived, I think we were all a little taken aback by what it actually looked like – a giant sheet of pasta, with sauce and cheese, topped with a few small meatballs. Basically, it looked like the pizza version of lasagna. I said to myself, “I can do this better.” So tonight I set out to do so.

I started with Barilla no boil lasagna noodles. I took out four, and soaked them in boiling water to re-hydrate them and make them pliable. I made the ricotta mixture per my standard lasagna recipe directions, and added a little spinach for flavor and color. I confess, I used jar sauce (also Barilla). It was in the fridge, I’m going on vacation later this week, and I prefer not to let food go to waste. It needed to be done.

Instead of making one giant lasagna pizza, I opted to make a single serve casserole using my Pfaltzgraff medium-sized au gratin dish. I put a teeny bit of sauce on the bottom, and then layered in two of the lasagna noodles (turns out I only needed two, the spare ones were for insurance… you never know). I added the cheese mixture, sauce, and then the meat. Instead of meatballs, I used some Italian chicken sausage – I de-cased it and cooked it like ground meat and put it right on top of the sauce. Then the mozzarella was layered on, followed by the parmesan cheese. I covered the dish tightly with foil, placed it on a rimmed baking sheet (in case of overflow), and baked at 350 for 45 minutes. When the buzzer went off, I removed the foil and cooked it for another 15 to melt the cheese and get it all bubbly and brown. Just when I thought it was finally ready to eat, I remembered to let it rest for another 15 minutes to set up. (Flashbacks to the Christmas Eve lasagna soup incident of ’99 was all the reminder I needed.)

Finally, it was ready to eat. I took a bite, it was still plenty hot, and it was pretty good. Since I didn’t actually taste the restaurant version, I really can’t compare. But mine was much more manageable in size – it was a generous single serving. The restaurant version was way too big – Margarita, who proclaimed to be so hungry she didn’t need to consider sharing with Catalina, could barely eat 1/8th of the dish. (I appreciate large portions in a restaurant, but there is such a thing as too big and this lasagna was definitely too big.)

I will say, as tasty as my open-faced lasagna was, it was not as good as the standard fare. There is a lot to be said for the role of the noodles in a plate of lasagna. Two on the bottom, serving as a crust, is just not enough noodle for me.

But you know what? It was a lot of fun trying to recreate this dish… and even though it was not quite as good as the real thing, it still made for a pretty good dinner.

Top Chef Las Vegas - Week 2

I was traveling for work this week, and of course, the hotel didn’t carry Bravo, so I had to wait until tonight to watch Wednesday’s episode of Top Chef.

Minor crisis, but it was averted. The TV in my bedroom is currently not working (it likes to take a vacation every six months or so… don’t worry, it’ll be back), and I didn’t set my TiVo in the living room to record the show. Fortunately, my bedroom TiVo recorded it despite the vacationing television, and thanks to the wonders of modern technology, I was able to transfer the recording from the bedroom TiVo to the living room TiVo. Phew…

And, we won’t get into the discussion about how many TiVos I have. It’s a food blog, not a TV blog. I owe you no explanation.

Now, back to the show…

I curl up on the couch and hit play. The first thing I notice, which I must have totally missed last week, is that the stakes have been raised considerably for the winner. They still get the Food and Wine Magazine feature, and the showcase at the Food and Wine Expo in Aspen (which, by the way, I’m dying to go to). But they also get $100,000 worth of merchandise from Macy’s, and $125,000 to help make their culinary dreams a reality furnished by the makers of the Glad family of products. If I remember correctly, they used to get a suite of kitchen appliances (of the stove and fridge variety, not the toaster oven and blender types), but I can’t imagine that the most expensive GE or Kenmore appliances cost $100k. The biggest shocker of all – they increased the grand prize to $125,000. I had no idea! A 25% increase in this economy? That’s unheard of.

Okay, enough about the prizes. Back to the show…

The cheftestants arrive at the Top Chef kitchen, and Padma is there with a craps table and the guest judge for this week, Todd English. Has he ever been a guest judge before? I remember him appearing in one or two of the finales as a sous chef, but I can’t recall a guest judge appearance. I obviously don’t know Todd personally, but he has always struck me as unbelievably arrogant. Also unbelievably sexy, but I digress.

It’s another high stakes quick fire. The winner of the challenge gets immunity as well as a $15,000 chip from the M Resort. The chefs will roll a pair of dice on the craps table, and they have to prepare a dish that uses the number of ingredients that they roll – no more, no less. Salt, pepper and oil are free ingredients.

The smallest number rolled is a 3, and it goes to Laurine. The highest number rolled is 10 – both Kevin (last week’s winner) and Brother Bryan get the ten.

There are still too many contenders to describe what everyone did, but I will tell you that Ashley served practically raw lamb, Brother Mike made a funky gazpacho (a new twist on an old classic, per Todd), and Jesse tried to seer scallops in a non-stick pan. Come on, even I know that you need to use a stainless steel pan to get a good seer. Todd describes her scallops as “blonde.” I guess they were kind of dumb as well as not very good. They certainly didn’t look appetizing.

Todd declares Brother Mike the winner, while putting Brother Bryan on the bottom with his sous vide black cod that was “pretty rare.” The sibling rivalry is off to a great start. Younger brother Mike wins the challenge and $15,000, and Bryan has to stew (no pun intended). Mike has to talk about how great it feels to beat his brother, because Bryan has already achieved his chef dreams by opening up his own restaurant and Mike is still working for the man. This will get old pretty fast. If I want to watch families fight, I’ll go visit my own.

With the quick fire out of the way, it’s time for the elimination challenge. They divide the chefs up into teams, and it’s a battle of the sexes – men vs. women. They are catering a joint bachelor/bachelorette party. The women will cook for the men, and vice versa. The challenge is to prepare dishes that fit the tastes and preferences of the couple, while at the same time pairing with one of three shots.

The shots are tequila, a Moscow mule (described as “gingery, vodka, grape-fruity”), and a golden delicious (described as “sweet, gooey and disgusting”). The bride is a pescatarian, which is a vegetarian who eats fish. The groom sounds like he’ll eat pretty much anything.

The teams plan their menus, do their shopping and it’s back to the kitchen. Because she feels like there is enough time and money, Ashley makes the almost always bad decision of making two dishes. Ashley also makes it abundantly clear that she is more than offended by the challenge. She’s gay, and she is very upset to be participating in a wedding challenge when gay people are not allowed to get married (in most parts of the country). It’s totally okay for Ashley to feel the way she does, but I have to say that it’s a cooking competition taking place in Vegas. She had to be prepared for the potential of something like this. Vegas is kind of famous for its weddings. Preeti, who is also gay, didn’t have the same reaction as Ashley, and I was actually surprised at how laid back she was when she said “this is the world we live in today.”

The party is poolside at the M. Jen calls it the most gorgeous pool she’s ever seen. It was very nice, but not sure I’d go that far. I don’t understand what the point is of having joint bachelor/bachelorette parties. Unless the point is to have Top Chef pay for them.

Our judges this evening are Tom, Padma, Gail and Todd English. No Toby yet. These guys are at their best when they are brutally honest. In summary, they hated Eve’s ceviche, Ashley’s panna cotta (the second dish, naturally), Jesse’s Thai chicken lettuce cups, non-brother Mike’s arctic char, and Ron’s lobster cocktail. They loved Brother Mike’s apple sorbet and goat cheese cookie, Brother Bryan’s sweet and sour macaroon, and Hector’s tofu ceviche.

Somewhere between the party and the judge’s table, a few of the men decided they were going to jump in the pool. The judges must have left by then. It struck me as awfully unprofessional. If I ever threw a party, and the caterers decided to jump in my pool before the party was over, I’d be a little upset.

Now, it’s time for judge’s table. Padma enters the stew room, and requests to see Brothers Bryan and Mike, Hector and Eli. So, the men win and these are the favorites. The women were pretty confident, and look upset.

The judges deliver high praise for Eli’s tuna tartare, with the ginger matching very well to the ginger in the shot. They thought brother Mike’s sorbet and cookie was great from concept to execution, and said brother Bryan’s dish was a really fun play on chips and guacamole with margaritas. (Apparently, there was guacamole inside that macaroon.) And Hector’s dish will change people’s minds about tofu.

At the end of the day, Todd English said it came down to the two brothers, and Bryan wins! Mike looks a little disappointed that he didn’t beat his big brother, but for crying out loud he won $15,000. Let. It. Go. Plus, Bryan is my favorite of the two brothers… a little older, a little wiser, a little more mature, and yeah, a little hotter.

But now it’s time for the bad news. Eve, Jesse, Preeti and Ashley are in front of the firing squad. Eve and Jesse are two for two on the bottom – not good. They are the two remaining of my top three to be eliminated first. I think I hate looking at the lip ring more than I hate hearing the squeaky voice, so I’m hoping Jesse gets sent home.

They tell Jesse her dish was really watery, and she starts crying. Apparently, she didn’t use ginger in her dish, but used some of the ginger beer from the cocktail so that the dish would go with the drink. I guess that decision backfired.

Eve’s shrimp were described as flavorless, and she made some lame excuse for why that was so. Tom is biting his tongue to keep from really letting her have it, but Todd doesn’t hold back. He says that a chef should know when something is not right, and know enough to do something about it. Preeti is surprised she’s there. She thought her dish was a crowd pleaser. Tom tells her the tuna wasn’t so much as marinated as it was cured.

And of course, Ashley’s two dish decision is haunting her. They loved the watermelon carpaccio, but hated the panna cotta. Ashley isn’t surprised – she identified the many flaws of her second dish. Todd tells Ashley that her watermelon carpaccio was one of his favorite dishes. I’m guessing this ultimately saves her ass.

So, I’m hoping it is Jesse who is told to pack her knives and go. I can always mute the TV when Eve speaks, but I can’t stop watching when they show Jesse. TV isn’t very good without the visual.

But, I have to live with Jesse for at least another week, because it’s Eve who is told to pack her knives and go. Another week down, another chef sent home. TiVo stopped recording before I could see what’s in store for us next week, so I’ll have to wait (or read TV Guide) to “watch what’s happening” on Bravo next Wednesday.

Until then… it’s time for me to pack my own knives and go… to bed. (And I’m putting my stake in the ground for Jen and Brother Bryan as my early favorites.)

Musseling In

Ever since Penelope and I visited Edinburgh, Scotland, I’ve been obsessed with mussels.

Let me explain…

We went to London for a friend’s wedding, and spent some time in Paris and Edinburgh while we were there. Another friend, Hailey, recommended a restaurant called The Mussel Inn, on Rose Street in Edinburgh. After a week of culinary bad decisions (and no, I’m not talking about the haggis), we decided to check out The Mussel Inn on our last night.

The Mussel Inn is a restaurant that – surprise, surprise – specializes in mussels. They are cooked and served in all kinds of sauces. I can’t remember exactly what sauce we chose, but I know it had leeks and cream. They were the best mussels I’ve ever had. I used to think that mussels were filler shellfish – thrown in with the steamer clams in a clambake to make it look like more food, when in fact they were subbing the good stuff for the cheap stuff.

I still think that kind of a little, but The Mussel Inn did a lot to significantly alter that perception. I became a mussel convert.

And I have been trying in vain to replicate those mussels ever since. Tonight I came pretty close.

Instead of trying to make up my own recipe and being disappointed each time, I opted to open up one of my many cookbooks and follow a recipe. This one was mussels steamed in white wine and finished with a cream and fresh herb sauce.

The ingredients were pretty standard for a dish like this (not that I ever got them right before) – butter, shallots, garlic, white wine, and of course, mussels. Once the mussels were cooked, the steaming liquid was joined with some heavy cream, lemon juice, fresh tarragon and fresh parsley.

I did everything by the book. The cookbook, that is. Well, I did make one change. Instead of plain old butter, I used a garlic herb Irish butter I bought to have with lobster the other night. (I guess it’s been a shellfish weekend.) I even followed my own advice and prepped my mise en place before I even thought of turning on the stove.

I carefully tended to my mussels. They were rinsed, debearded, and individually scrubbed. The parsley was thoroughly washed and dried to get rid of the tell-tale grit that is always present. Shallots, garlic and herbs were minced. Wine and cream were measured out. Lemon juice was freshly squeezed. I even dug out my lazy susan, and used it for a mise en place tray, with the ingredients arranged in order, clock-wise, with the first needed ingredient in the 3:00 position to the left of the stove.

Yup, I can’t be stopped. I’m organized and prepared, and a total loser.

My only problem was keeping the heat at the right level and managing the difference between a simmer and a boil. I think I reduced my steaming liquid too much because I couldn’t get that boil down to a simmer like I was supposed to. But you know what? It didn’t really matter. (I bought more mussels thanI could eat anyway, so I still had plenty of sauce.)

I even had some crusty Italian bread, topped with that delicious garlic herb butter, ready for the broiler so I could semi-gracefully sop up the sauce from the bottom of my bowl.

Aside from the fact that I was probably a little low on sauce for the full recipe, and no matter how much I scrubbed those mussels I don’t think I got them completely clean, the dish was a success! The mussels were perfectly steamed and the sauce was delicious. And the mise en place made the process, and clean up, a breeze. (I will be taking my own advice from here on out. Well, I have the best intentions of doing so anyway.)

Okay, I did leave the bread under the broiler a little too long and the edges got burned, but no one is perfect, so give me a break.

Random Thoughts...

Just some random thoughts about food and cooking to start the weekend...

Whoever said steaming doesn’t count as cooking didn’t just enjoy the same lobster and steamer dinner that I did. (PS, Kerrygold garlic and herb butter is a phenomenal accompaniment to lobster and steamers!)

Is it called a disher because it dishes out ice cream, or is it called a dish of ice cream because of the disher?

What would happen if Rachael Ray lost her voice?

How is New American Cuisine related to French Nouvelle Cuisine? Isn’t one American and the other French?

And why isn’t there an Old American Cuisine?

Baking brownies in cupcake tins means that I don’t have to publically admit that I cannot neatly cut a pan of brownies.

When I was a kid, I made brownies and accidentally used twice the amount of oil. Not sure which is worse – the fact that I screwed up a box mix, or the fact that I still ate the brownies.

Why does the grocery store stock pine nuts in the baking needs aisle? (At least mine does…)

Ever hear of potato dice? Ask my brother…

If we keep eating heirloom tomatoes, will there be nothing left to inherit?

Why does fresh mozzarella taste absolutely nothing like the shredded kind you buy in a bag?

I can’t stop thinking about that herb and garlic butter, and how good it would taste with a bowl of popcorn.

Hmm, popcorn.

I love to eat ceviche, but every time I attempt to make it at home I get freaked out and throw it away. Why do I trust a restaurant to cook my fish in citrus juice, but not myself?

I had to get acrylic fingernails to protect my fingers from the knife. Seriously… several knife wounds later, in fact.

If anyone read my second post, the review of Brett Favre's Steak House in Green Bay (see July 2009 archives), I'm sure you've noticed that my prediction of him not staying retired has come true. I wonder if they pictures of Favre in a Vikings uniform will be well received by his patrons.

Still a foodie wannabe, and not so much a foodie…

Bon appétit!

Top Chef Las Vegas! Top Chef Las Vegas!

I’m so excited for the premier of Top Chef season 6, filmed in fabulous, I mean food-abulous Las Vegas. I learned very fast that it’s hard to blog and watch the show at the same time, especially a reality show where you’re trying to get to know the new cheftestants while formulating your written opinions about them.

So bear with me as I try to figure out what was going on in the first episode.

The glorious, magnificent Top Chef kitchen is housed at the M Resort, located on the south end of Las Vegas Boulevard.

Seventeen cheftestants – the most ever – are competing for the title of Top Chef, and the secondary prize of $100,000. I have a few immediate opinions.

· Jesse – the lip piercing is very distracting. Don’t think I can look at it all season long.
· Eve – the voice. I can’t even describe it. I don’t want to listen to it. Please stop talking. (Not that she talked that much, but that she talked at all.)
· Michael – get over yourself. Now.

There’s also a competitor named Ash Fulk. Go ahead… say it out loud.

The show starts with the classic mise en place quickfire. Instead of boning a chicken, whipping some egg whites and finely dicing an onion, the chefs have to schuck clams, and clean chops, lobsters and prawns. This was supposed to be a “Vegas style” mise en place. The blue team one.

I must have dozed off for a minute, because somehow Robin got immunity. And I can’t for the life of me figure out how, since she wasn’t on the blue team. Oh, well… that’s what TiVo is for.

But wait, there’s a twist… Robin can trade her immunity for a $15,000 chip. She opts to keep her immunity, and chefs from the top two teams (blue and black) get to make a dish using the mise en place ingredients to compete for the $15,000.

Jennifer and Jesse had the great Tom Colicchio’s two favorite dishes. Jennifer had a clam ceviche that looked lovely, and Jesse made a dish out of prawns that, according to Tom, tasted thoroughly of the ocean even given the half hour time constraint. He seemed to have more to say about Jesse’s dish, but he picks Jennifer as the winner. She doesn’t get immunity, but $15,000 is pretty significant.

Jennifer struck me as an early favorite, so I’m glad she won the second stage of the quick fire. (I’m still trying to figure out how Robin got immunity. The Bravo website is not responding…)

On to the elimination challenge…

The chefs have to create a dish inspired by one of their vices. I was surprised to learn that being hot tempered and a procrastinator count as vices. I’m going to have to look that up. The people who used alcohol in their dishes get points from me, because booze is definitely my vice (or 9-5 survival tactic, whatever).

The chefs each get $150 to shop at Whole Foods. In my experience, a $150 at Whole Foods doesn’t get you a lot of groceries.

The chefs are cooking in Cut, Wolfgang Puck’s restaurant in the Palazzo Las Vegas Resort. Wolfgang is the guest judge, and the chefs are competing within their teams from the quick fire. So, one chef from each team will be up for the win, and one will be up for the elimination.

Since there were too many contestants to keep track of what they all cooked, I’ll skip to the winning dishes. Ron, Mike, Kevin and Jennifer are the top 4. Kevin’s procrastination inspired arctic char was the winner. Hector, Jen, Jesse and Eve are on the bottom.

I’m not going to lie. I was hoping that Jesse or Eve would go home. Mainly because of the lip ring and the very odd voice. But Jen gets told to pack her knives and go.

And now that I’ve had some time to think about, I don’t think I could look at her neck tattoo each week. (Since a full arm tattoo is called a sleeve, I so want to call her neck tattoo a collar. But I’m not sure that’s right.)

There seems to be a whole lot of talent on this season. A lot more executive chefs, and a couple of James Beard nominees. It looks like we’re in for a great season. Tune in each week on Wednesdays, at 10 pm ET to get your fix of the best food show on TV. And, check back here each week for my musings on each episode. I’m sure it’ll get a lot more interesting as we get to know the cheftestants.

For more information on Top Chef and the cheftestants and judges, check out www.bravotv.com/top-chef.

Mise en place or yours?

I absolutely love the idea of mise en place, but for some reason I cannot fully embrace the concept.

The Food Snob’s Dictionary defines mise en place as a “fancy French term for doing all one’s food prep before actually cooking – chopping, measuring, arranging, cleaning up, and so on.”

I can tell you from personal experience that mise en place makes cooking so much easier, and in my case, it usually makes for a better finished product too. Yet, 99% of the time I refuse to employ the practice of getting prepared and organized before I start cooking. And inevitably disaster ensues.

Let me tell you… Chopping, measuring, and prepping all the ingredients ahead of time, and cleaning up as I go, makes for a much more organized kitchen. And when the cooking begins, everything you need is right at your fingertips and ready to go. This allows you to focus entirely on the food.

And while I feel like it’s more work to do all this ahead of time, it is actually a giant time saver. Trust me.

When I practice mise en place, my food comes out great. Everything is perfect, and clean up is a breeze. I practically resemble a perfect housewife from the ‘50s.

But when I don’t practice mise en place… Well, that’s a horse of a different color. Or more accurately, a food of a different texture.

There was the time I made salmon steaks with blueberry sauce, and the blueberry sauce reduced too much and burnt because I was adding ingredients as I go instead of having it all mise en place. (If only I had at least gotten all the spices I needed out of the cabinet, I would have only half ruined it.)

Before I start any cooking project, I need to remember the times when I employed the mise en place strategy and turned out a perfect dish. The perfect carrot cake made from scratch, homemade brownies, my classic best-in-class oatmeal raisin cookies, and my dad’s favorite torta di pittata (I promise that last one is a savory dish).

My resolution moving forward is to make mise en place a habit. A way of life, in fact. I’m going to print it on a t-shirt. I pledge to bring organization and preparedness to my cooking game. And maybe, just maybe, my overall cooking skills will improve!

Entertainment Weekly Rates the Best Food Shows on TV

I was very excited to find the new issue of Entertainment Weekly (8/14/09) waiting for me in my mailbox when I arrived home from Vegas. Why, you ask? Well, because they rate the best food shows on TV!!

The article says the shows are not ranked in any particular order, but I’m going to take their 15 and put them in my order of preference.

15. Today
14. The Martha Stewart Show
13. Lidia’s Italy
12. Giada at Home
11. Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives

Okay… my comments on the bottom 5. First of all, Today is a news/magazine show and The Martha Stewart Show is a talk show. Shows with cooking segments do not qualify as food shows, so they immediately fall to the bottom of my list.

I will admit, I have not seen Lidia’s Italy, but I don’t have a ton of patience for PBS cooking shows so she is getting victimized for no good reason.

I know a million people (if they were actually reading this) would argue profusely with me over the two Food Network shows that round out the bottom 5. But I have my reasons, and we’re all entitled to our own opinions. Giada deLaurentis just bothers me. I used to like her show, and then I saw her on The Next Food Network Star. She’s so hostile and mean, and always picks on the bright and sunny contestant – calling them fake, and too bubbly. In my opinion, she is criticizing the very personality she projects on her show, and I don’t like hypocrites. I’m lukewarm about Guy Fieri. That’s all I have to say about him

10. Paula’s Home Cooking
9. Hell’s Kitchen
8. Ace of Cakes
7. 30 Minute Meals
6. Barefoot Contessa

The Food Network dominates this bunch of shows – 4 out of 5, but they are a network entirely dedicated to food shows, so one can argue that the odds are against them. This is a middle of the pack group, so it’s not really a vote for or against.

Paula Deen scares the crap out of me. I’m convinced that a single taste of one of her recipes will put me in cardiac arrest. I’ve never seen someone cook with so much butter and heavy cream. Granted, her food looks awesome. But if I want to continue to fit into my jeans, I need to stay away from her show.

I’ve never seen Hell’s Kitchen, and have only watched Ace of Cakes a couple of times. I hear that Hell’s Kitchen is great, but you can’t get beyond Gordon Ramsey yelling at everyone to get enough of the food. Ace of Cakes is cool, but for me it’s a documentary, not a series.

Rachael Ray and Ina Garten are opposites – Rach is as loud and obnoxious as Ina is soft-spoken and soothing. Both are good shows, but the Contessa is the better cook. And I love that the show is filmed in her home… doesn’t she have a beautiful kitchen?

5. No Reservations
4. America’s Test Kitchen
3. Iron Chef America
2. Good Eats

Why did No Reservations end up in the top 5? Anthony Bourdain. ‘Nuff said.

I love America’s Test Kitchen. I don’t know what my favorite part is – the taste tests, the equipment reviews, or the trial and error of cooking. They not only show you how to cook the dish properly, but they often tell you about the other methods/ingredients/cooking techniques they tried that didn’t work. Chris Kimball, the host, is the goofiest foodie I’ve ever met. (Seriously, I’m super cool next to him.) But his love and passion for food are obvious, and who can resist that?

Iron Chef combines my love of sports and competition with cooking. If the Patriots make it to the Super Bowl this year, I would be thrilled to see the game played in Kitchen Stadium instead of on the football food. Can’t you just see it? Brady with his sous chefs – Moss and Welker. Ed Hochuli judging. That would be a great game.

I can’t say enough about Alton Brown. I think my love for him is obvious. Good Eats is quality food television. Alton usually dedicates each episode to a single ingredient, de-mystifying it and teaching us several different ways to use it. He also blends in some equipment tips (the man can’t stand a uni-tasker!) and some interesting characters… well, odd characters anyway.

And finally… my number one food show on television. Drum roll please…

1. Top Chef!!!

Tom, Padma, Gail, the chef-testants and the guest judges. Okay, I can do without Toby, but he does bring with him an interesting point of view, sort of. (Bring back Ted Allen!) I love this show. It might be one of my favorite shows on television, period. I didn’t start watching until season 4 (thanks Allison!), so I had to buy the first three seasons on iTunes. And I’m hooked. Top Chef Masters is not the same, but it’s a good fill in while I wait for the next season to premiere. And speaking of which…

Top Chef Las Vegas premieres on Bravo, next Wednesday, August 19 at 9:00 p.m. ET. Set your TiVo.

Comments anyone???

Julie & Julia: Entertainment and Inspiration All in One

I went to see “Julie & Julia” the other night with my friend Penelope. I saw the previews and read the reviews, and I’m happy to report that it was as good as I anticipated.

And yes, I immediately went online to order Mastering the Art of French Cooking and Julie & Julia: My Year of Cooking Dangerously. I’m that predictable.

As interesting as I found the story of how Julia Child came to be “Julia Child,” I found myself relating to Julie Powell’s story so much more. I’ll be the first to say that my blog may seem like a rip off of what Julie Powell did. But it really isn’t… Yes, it’s about food written by someone who wants to know it better than she currently does. But Julie gave herself a challenge, which I can only wish I thought of first. We’re more similar in our reasons for starting the blog – stuck in a rut, feeling left behind by life, and wanting to have something more than their 9 to 5 job that seems to dominate their very being, with a shared interest in food and cooking.

The movie has inspired me to expand my culinary horizons a little more. Barnes & Noble has my book order packed and ready to leave the warehouse, and I anxiously await its delivery in 3-5 business days. And I know that as soon as I get the package, I’ll tear it open, curl up on the couch with a glass of nice French wine (no champagne though, still recovering from the wedding in Food-abulous Las Vegas), and I will devour it page by page.

I know I’ll find several recipes I want to try right away. I bet I’ll even trade in my no name, purchased in the house wares department of TJ Maxx, enameled cast iron dutch oven for a beautiful, over-priced, too pretty to use Le Creuset one. But the likelihood of me boning a duck, or attempting to make aspic is fairly slim. I definitely won’t be committing to 524 recipes in 365 days. But I think I can tackle Julia’s boeuf bourguignon recipe. Maybe…

Welcome to Food-abulous Las Vegas!

Welcome to Food-abulous Las Vegas!

What do you do in Las Vegas when you’re not a big gambler, can’t sit in the sun for fear of permanently scarring your pale Irish skin, and not into the club scene?

Well, eat of course!

My sister got married in Las Vegas this past weekend. As much as Vegas is not my scene, it was a perfect opportunity to sample the cuisine of a variety of celebrity chefs. Over the course of 2 days, I got to enjoy the food of Bobby Flay, Rick Moonen, Hubert Keller and Charlie Palmer. (I was too hung over on the third day to expand upon that list.)

First stop: Lunch at Bobby Flay’s Mesa Grill in Caesar’s Palace.

When I told my nephew we were going here for lunch, he said “Doesn’t he have a show on the Food Network?” My response was “Yeah, he used to have a show. Now he has all the shows. Bobby Flay is the Food Network.”

I have always thought that Bobby was overexposed, and he struck me as a little too big for his britches. But I now know how wrong I was… He has earned every bit of exposure and every ounce of arrogance. The restaurant was amazing. I wish I could report on a variety of items ordered, but we all had the exact same thing. The prix fixe lunch menu featured a duck pancake starter and a buffalo burger main course, with strawberry profiteroles for dessert.

While the entire meal was wonderful, I am going to focus on the duck. It was vintage Bobby Flay. Well, at least it looked like vintage Bobby Flay based on all the times I’ve seen him on Iron Chef America. It was a barbecue duck with the tender texture of pulled pork, wrapped in a blue cornmeal pancake dressed with a trio of sauces (ranging from barbecue sauce to chili oil) and top with micro-greens. I’ve had duck a few times, but this was by far the best duck I’ve ever eaten. It was melt in your mouth good with none of that fatty, gamey taste that duck can tend to have. If that was all they served me, I would have been perfectly satisfied. And if the food wasn’t good enough, it was accompanied by possibly the best service I have ever received in a restaurant. I wish I remembered our waiter’s name, because he would get a very loud shout out (to what I’m sure is a huge audience of readers).

Second stop: Dinner at Rick Moonen’s RM Seafood in Mandalay Bay.

I would not have known to pick this restaurant if it weren’t for Top Chef Masters. I’m so glad for that summer spin off – second restaurant, second great meal. My brother got the free range roast chicken, while my nephew (not a fish eater) opted for the steak frites. Both were good portions and perfectly prepared. I had the RM Cioppino. It had the perfect level of spiciness, and the fish was delectable. It was served with pasta that resembled giant calamari rings – a perfect accessory. The pasta helped cut the spiciness, otherwise I think it would have been a tad overwhelming. I’ve had cioppino before, and have always liked it, but never loved it. Rick Moonen’s Cioppino was love worthy. It is now at the top of the list of recipes I’m going to try at home. (Stay tuned… I’m sure I’ll tell you all about how that experiment goes!)

Third Stop: Lunch at Hubert Keller’s Burger Bar in Mandalay Bay.

I really wanted to try Fleur de Lys, but it wasn’t open for lunch. My primary goal was to be able to eat at a Hubert Keller restaurant, so even though it wasn’t my first choice, the Burger Bar accomplished the goal. I did not see the $5,000 burger that Hubert referenced on a recent episode of Top Chef Masters, but I was perfectly happy with the American Classic burger. Basically, a bacon cheeseburger made with angus beef and your standard fixin’s (lettuce, tomato, onion, pickle). I dressed it with some good old fashioned ketchup and yellow mustard. Yes, it was a typical choice – not at all adventurous. But how else can you compare the burger of a world renowned chef to the one you get at the diner down the street?

While I do enjoy the burger from the diner down the street (it is my new brother-in-law’s diner, after all), Hubert’s American classic was perhaps the best fine dining burger I’ve ever had. It was the perfect size, perfectly prepared with the finest ingredients. And as any good burger should be, it was served with French fries. It was definitely worth the 45 minute wait.

My only complaint was that the restaurant was the shameless self-promotion of its famous chef/owner. At Mesa Grill and RM Seafood, there was a little self-promotion, but it was limited. Both restaurants had a display of cook books and sauces that were available for sale, but once you got past the hostess station, it was all about the food. The Burger Bar had items advertised for sale not only at the hostess stand, but at the bar and throughout the menu – with several photos of Hubert, and a mini-biography that appeared twice in the menu. I was a little surprised by this. Hubert has been one of my favorite guest judges on Top Chef, mainly because he has struck me as very humble and not full of himself. His representation at Burger Bar was a little different. I can see why someone may want to purchase a Burger Bar t-shirt, but I’m having trouble grasping the need for a Burger Bar thong.

Fourth and final stop: Wedding dinner at Charlie Palmer’s Aureole in Mandalay Bay.

Aureole is known for their wine more than their food, as a string of reviewers on Yelp will tell you. We were there for the food, and had a limited menu due to the size of our group. For my starter I opted for the mushroom ravioli over the mixed greens salad. I love a good salad, but I wanted to try the food. I recall the ravioli being very good. For my entrée, I got the surf and turf – which was steak with Alaskan king crab leg. As a wannabe foodie, I should be able to tell you if the steak was angus beef, NY strip or filet mignon. Being very nervous about my role in the wedding (maid of honor) and having to give a toast, I drank a little bit too much champagne and cannot recall the type of steak it was. I do remember it was excellent and perfectly prepared – despite the fact that I didn’t tell them how I like my steak prepared. (I was later told that I did tell them I prefer it rare. Who knew?) I got the citrus cheesecake for dessert, and it was perfectly lovely even though by that point I was too full to eat it all.

If my mother reads this, she will most certainly kill me for what I’m about to say… While the food at Aureole was perfectly delicious and perhaps the best wedding meal I’ve ever eaten in my life, it was not my favorite meal of the weekend. I have to tip my hat to Bobby Flay for the first place award, and Rick Moonen for the coveted first runner up spot. (If Bobby Flay should somehow fail in his duties of the winner of my favorite restaurant for the weekend, then Rick Moonen will assume the role…)

If you ever find yourself in Las Vegas, you will eat great food – guaranteed. We barely left Mandalay Bay, and didn’t even put a dent in the list of chef’s who have set up shop on the strip. My biggest complaint about the food was the branded thong for sale at the Burger Bar. The best part about Vegas is that you get to try all these chefs in one place – sin city makes it very easy to be a wannabe foodie!

Do You Want to Be the Next Food Network Star?

Tonight is the finale of the current season of The Next Food Network Star. The excitement and anticipation are building… Who will be the next Food Network Star? Will it be Jeffrey or Melissa?

The Food Network ran a marathon today of the entire season of their competition reality show. Even though I've been watching it all along, it was a great opportunity for me to re-acquaint myself with the finalists and decide once and for all who I want to win.

Now, even though I enjoy this show and have gotten sucked in, I do need to say that while entertaining, The Next Food Network Star is no Top Chef. (Nor is Top Chef Masters, but that's a column for another day...)

One by one, the finalists were eliminated.

Jennifer, the modern day housewife, who got to prepare one dish and was told by the selection committee that she should have served nothing instead.

Brett, the guy who helped a fellow competitor plate her dish and then wanted to take all the credit for her success in that episode. (Dude, you would have had to give her the recipes and prepare the food in order to get credit. You just helped her plate. Let it go, or go home. Oh yeah, that’s the episode you got sent home…)

Eddie, the chef who thought he was better than everyone else on the show, but who couldn’t manage to put together a dish that I’d even want to consider eating, let alone watch him prepare. Buh-bye, Eddie.

Teddy, who I thought was auditioning to host a game show instead of a cooking show. He also seemed to have some “integrity issues,” so his departure was not only welcomed by me, but I’m sure his fellow finalists weren’t shedding any tears either.

Katie, the healthy cook, whose point of view I loved, but I think her food would have made me sick (because she couldn’t seem to actually cook it). I liked Katie, and wished she could have done better, but there is nothing healthy about a raw turkey burger.

Michael, the talented flamboyant chef who unfortunately couldn’t be himself in front of the camera. Part of me thinks Michael may have been a little too over the top for the Food Network, but he was entertaining and it was sad to see him go.

Jamicka, who started so strong but somehow managed to get worse instead of better with each episode. And she got so boring, that I just don't have anything to say about her.

And Debbie, the one who was the absolute best on the camera challenges but who seemed to know only how to lie to the selection committee whenever something didn’t go her way. Debbie, you know you were supposed to use the capers. It’s on film. Don’t act so surprised.

And that leaves us with just Melissa and Jeffrey. Melissa is the home cook who stretches a budget and cooks great meals for her family. Jeffrey likes to “cook without borders.” I’m not really sure what that means – I think it’s a metaphor for not actually having a culinary point of view.

I’m writing this before I see the final episode, but I’m going to put a stake in the ground and give my non-existent vote to Melissa. She seems to represent a key demographic of the Food Network – mom’s who like to cook and learn new things, but need to feed a family on a budget. But I believe she can also appeal to those who aren’t just like her. I’m not married, I don’t have any children, but I’m conscious of how much food costs and I want to learn to cook good food on a budget. In my opinion, Melissa definitely has a broader appeal. I would watch her show.

Jeffrey just doesn’t do it for me. His ideas don’t appeal to me, they don’t excite me and make me want to cook. And I don’t understand how his show would be that different than Big Daddy’s House, or Boy Meets Grill.

In less than two hours, we’ll know who the winner is. Whoever it is (hopefully Melissa!!), I hope their show lasts for more than one season. If I’m remembering this correctly, this is the fifth season of the show, and only two previous winners are still on the air. A 50% success rate is better than the Bachelor/Bachelorette franchise, but doesn’t really put the odds in the winner’s favor. Melissa or Eddie will get a show, but it doesn’t mean they will be the next Food Network star. There’s only room for one Bobby Flay, after all.

The Next Food Network Star may be a poor man’s Top Chef, but it’s still entertaining.

And for those who disagree, Top Chef Vegas starts in a few short weeks!!!